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For Kate Hopper, pregnancy is downright unpleasant. She is tired and heavy and worried, and she wants her wine and caffeine back. But then, at a routine checkup, her doctor frowns at her chart and says, “I’m worried about a couple of things”—and unpleasant suddenly seems like paradise. What follows is a harrowing, poignant, and occasionally hysterical journey through premature motherhood, from the starting point of “leaking a little protein” to the early delivery of her tiny daughter because of severe preeclampsia and the beginning of a new chapter of frightful, lifelong love.Half a million babies are born prematurely in the United States every year—almost one every minute—each with a unique story, and Hopper eloquently gives a voice to what their parents share: the shock, the scares, the lonely nights in the neonatal intensive care unit, the fierce attention to detail that makes for sanity and craziness, the light of faith, the warmth of family, and the terrifying attachment. Through it all runs the power of words to connect us to one another, as Hopper draws on her gifts as a writer first to help her navigate this uncertain territory and then to tell her story. With candor, grace, and a healthy dose of humor, she takes us into the final weeks of her pregnancy, the this-was-not-part-of-the-plan first weeks of little Stella’s life, and the isolated world she and her husband inhabited when they took their daughter home at the onset of a cold Minnesota winter. Finally, frankly, Hopper ventures into the complicated question of whether to have another child. Down-to-earth and honest about the hard realities of having a baby, as well as the true joys, Ready for Air is a testament to the strength of motherhood—and stories—to transform lives.
I felt extremely close to Hopper as I was reading this book. Closer, probably, than I could be to a friend or family member living through these events. Because of course Hopper is able to voice many of the emotions and thoughts that, as she was living through them, were much more difficult to share. In this extremely intimate account of her struggles, she is completely bare. In her fear. In her discomfort. In her uncertainty. In her anger at healthcare professionals who seem insensitive and unwilling to provide crucial information. (Not all of them were like this, but some certainly were.) The distance of ten years allows her to clearly articulate the depth and nuance of each of these feelings. Having read this book, I almost feel as though I’ve appropriated Hopper’s memories as my own, as though in the distant past, I, too, lived through pregnancy-induced hypertension, watched my daughter struggle through her first weeks of life with artificial respiration and a feeding tube, and had my nipples rubbed raw by a breast pump as I persevered for months in getting her to breastfeed.When, at long last, Hopper is able to take her tiny daughter home, there is a heartbreaking moment in which she realizes that coming home is not the end of her difficulties. In fact, the most difficult challenges await, and she’s going to have to face most of them in her own house, alone. Her husband is wonderfully supportive, but he has to go to work. And Hopper is so angry at him for this that she could throw things (and does!). I think we have all known a moment like this. When the demands of our daily reality have pushed us so close to our breaking point that we assign blame in knowingly irrational ways. And it’s Hopper’s willingness to own up to this–to articulate this for the rest of us–that gives her writing about this difficult topic its unexpected luminosity.In sum, Ready for Air is a seamlessly crafted work that carries us to places we will hopefully never have to go, but for which we would be amazingly well prepared if we did. It is engrossing, thought-provoking, and a story you will long carry in your heart.For my complete review, see my website: sharonrawlette.wordpress.com.
